


Stardust

by BlackAngelis



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alzheimer's Disease, Angst, Drama, F/M, Love, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22225861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackAngelis/pseuds/BlackAngelis
Summary: "You've turned my heart upside down," he would tell her. Now, other things are turning upside down, the objects he holds and the words he says, his memories when they turn into dust.
Relationships: Jorah Mormont/Daenerys Targaryen
Comments: 32
Kudos: 44





	1. Jorah

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This story is a translation of my fanfiction "Poussières d'étoiles". I'm French so English isn't my mother tongue, I apologize for the mistakes I may have made.

"You've turned my heart upside down," he says to her on their wedding day. He never thought he would be so happy, he never thought he deserved it but Daenerys smiles at him and he knows that everything will be all right. Her silver hair, her purple eyes – he could never forget them.

"You've turned mine upside down as well," she responds before kissing him.

She is the Queen of his heart and the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms alike. He closes his eyes and whispers in a soft voice:

"I will never let you down."

He will be king consort, Hand of the Queen or just an advisor, he will be whatever she wants him to be, it doesn't matter as long as he is by her side – where he belongs.

"I know, Jorah," Daenerys says.

Tears appear in her eyes.

"I will never let you down either."

.

He takes her to Pentos after the wedding, where they met for the first time. They lie down on the beach and look at the stars appearing in the sky.

"I feel like I'm dreaming," Daenerys tells him. "I feel like none of this is real."

"It is real," he says.

On the morning, he takes a jar and fills it with sand before giving it to her.

"So you can remember it's not a dream," he smiles.

"Oh, Jorah," she sighs lovingly. "It's like stardust. The stars shining when you asked for my hand."

"They will shine forever," he promises before pulling her close.

.

Daenerys is a good queen. This is what he thinks whenever he sees her on the Iron Throne, when she mounts Drogon and flies through the sky, when she smiles at children in the streets. He tries to be worthy of her – he would do anything for her.

One day, they visit Tyrion and Sansa at Winterfell and he sees her sigh as she stares at their children – the one thing he can't give her.

"I'm sorry," he tells her later.

"It's not your fault," she assures him.

"You're unhappy."

He can't bear to see her smile turning into dust.

"Jorah," she laughs softly. "I could never be unhappy as long as you're here."

.

She says she's happy but he knows she could be a lot happier, and he knows he was right the night he returns to the Red Keep holding a baby in his arms. Stars that weren't there before light up the purple of her eyes.

"Who is she?"

"Her mother has just died. She's an orphan."

She gently takes the baby in her arms.

"I can't give you children, but it doesn't mean you can't be a mother."

She looks up at him and he's sure he's never seen a smile so bright.

.

Laena is the child they both dreamed of. She's beautiful and smart and curious. She's growing up so fast – he doesn't notice how time flies. She's four when he shows her the jar filled with the sand of Pentos.

"It's like stardust," he murmurs.

She grabs the jar with her small hands and frowns.

"Are stars made of sand?"

"Who knows?" Daenerys laughs. "Maybe it's the sand that is made of stars."

She carefully takes the jar back.

"You have to be very careful with it. Breaking it would be like turning your father's heart upside down."

Feeling moved, he kisses her forehead.

"You've already turned my heart upside down."

.

One day, while they're both busy, Laena burns herself. She's only seven but she already knows all about the Targaryens, she knows her mother is called the Unburnt and she dreams of the day she will be allowed to mount Drogon. They're sitting at the small council table when she storms into the room. She's crying and he sees the burn on her arm.

She won't tell them what happened.

"I thought the Targaryens didn't fear fire," she tells them later, after a maester has taken care of her – he said she will be left with a scar.

Daenerys sighs and strokes her hair.

"Even dragons can be hurt," she whispers softly.

When Laena has fallen asleep, Daenerys says:

"She knows we aren't her real parents but she thinks she has the blood of the dragon all the same..."

"She has the blood of the dragon. She's our daughter," he responds tenderly.

He glances at the burn on her arm and says:

"It won't happen again. I'll protect her. I'll protect you both."

.

Laena likes playing with Catelyn and Theon Lannister, Tyrion and Sansa's children. He likes watching them play in Winterfell's courtyard or in the Throne Room. He also likes seeing Daenerys laugh with Sansa – his queen has never had friends before. He's happy to see her happy. They like sitting under a lemon tree in the gardens so sitting there becomes an habit of his, and when he does, her can hear her beautiful laughter and his heart turns upside down again.

"I thought you didn't like lemons," Daenerys tells him one day.

"I don't, but I love you."

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena, the lemons – he could never forget them, they're the reason why he lives.

.

One day, he wants to look at the jar filled with sand but he can't find it. He looks everything in the Red Keep and he feels his heart breaking at the thought it may be lost forever.

He sheds some tears when he kneels before Daenerys to tell her.

"It's gone," he says. "It's gone. The jar filled with stardust."

She kneels beside him and strokes his cheek.

"It's not. It's in Laena's room. She asked us for it yesterday, don't you remember?"

"I... I..."

He feels so stupid and he laughs. His tears are now shed out of joy.

"You're tired," Daenerys says. "You work too much."

"I don't. I'm fine."

Later, he walks into Laena's room and grabs the jar. He won't forget again.

.

He likes reading stories to Laena before she goes to sleep, he likes when she listens to him with interest and he likes seeing stars appear in her shining eyes, when she starts dreaming of dragons and heroes.

Tonight, he's just started reading when she says:

"You read this story yesterday," she laughs.

"Did I?"

"You did."

He's feeling bewildered.

"Your father is getting old, Laena," is all he can say.

So he reads another story. He doesn't tell Daenerys, he doesn't want her to worry about him. He's just getting old. His queen is still young and beautiful but the Stranger is already lurking around him.

It's all right. It doesn't matter.

.

On Laena's nameday, he gets lemon cakes made for her – her favorite ones. He watches her eat them, looking amused.

"You don't eat?" she worries.

He doesn't like lemon cakes but he loves Daenerys and he loves Laena. He doesn't want to disappoint her. He takes a cake and starts eating.

"These cakes are the best cakes in the world!" she says.

He smiles at her and nods.

.

He's talking about Daenerys's coronation day with Tyrion Lannister when the feeling of bewilderment returns.

"I remember this day as if it were yesterday," he says. "The sky was blue. She appeared on Drogon's back. He landed in the Red Keep's courtyard and she entered the... the..."

He can't find the words. His mouth is still open and he stays like that for a few seconds, frowning.

"The Throne Room?" Tyrion says.

He nods. He can't pretend not te be worried.

"You work too much. You should rest."

"Yes... that's what I'm going to do."

.

He tries to rest but it's useless. He keeps forgetting. He forgets where Laena's favorite doll is whereas he was holding it ten minutes ago. He forgets he shares Daenerys's room since their wedding and only remembers when he walks into his former room, finding it empty. He forgets what he did the day before, he forgets what he's supposed to do the next day.

He can't conceal it from Daenerys. She worries.

"I'm just tired," he says. "I'm getting old."

"You're not old."

"I am," he sighs. "But it doesn't change anything. I won't forget that I love you."

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena, the lemons – he won't forget, he never will.

.

Daenerys is still worried so she insists they go to Winterfell for a few days. He agrees – he always does. He would do anything to see her smile.

Laena likes playing in the snow with Theon and Catelyn. He feels serene watching them – there's almost nothing to forget here. He wishes he could forget the army of the dead.

He wishes he didn't wish to forget when he steals a glimpse of Daenerys crying in Sansa's arms.

"I'm scared..." she sobs.

"It will be all right," Sansa says. "It will get better, it always does."

His heart breaks as he walks away, his head down.

.

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena, the lemons.

.

"I think you should see a maester," Daenerys tells him when they return to King's Landing.

"There's no need for that. I'm fine. I forget nothing that's important."

They sit under the lemon tree.

"I don't want to lose you," Daenerys moans. "My crown doesn't matter without you. It's not worth it."

They lie down and they watch the stars starting to shine in the sky, like so many years before in Pentos.

"Memories are like stardust," Daenerys whispers. "They shine, some more than others, but in the end, they all disappear."

.

They're celebrating the anniversary of Daenerys's coronation day. Sansa and Tyrion have come for the occasion.

"How are you, Jorah?" the Wardeness of the North asks him.

"I'm fine, thank you," he promises.

She doesn't look convinced. He saw her talking to Daenerys earlier. His heart aches.

Laena runs to him and gives him a lemon cake.

"It's for you," she says, smiling.

He feels troubled.

"Oh, thank you, but I don't like lemons."

.

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena.

.

One day, he gets lost somewhere in the Red Keep and after that Daenerys makes him see a maester. It's a strange disease, he tells them. A memory thief.

She bursts into tears when he finishes talking.

"So... I'm going to forget everything?"

The maester nods.

"You will feel confused. There are things you will no longer be able to do. You might even forget your own name."

"No."

He storms out of the room, short of breath. Daenerys catches up with him – she hasn't stopped crying.

"He's lying. I could never forget you. Never."

.

He keeps getting lost in the Red Keep. He's becoming clumsy and almost drops the jar filled with sand. It takes him a few minutes to remember the name of this iron chair Daenerys sits upon.

With a heavy heart, he ends up telling her he can't be her consort any more, feeling so useless.

"Don't be ridiculous," she responds. "You are my king, now and always."

"One day, I might forget what a king is."

She pulls him into an embrace.

"I'll be there to make you remember. I won't forget you. I turned you heart upside down, remember? And you turned mine as well."

.

"You've turned my heart upside down," he would tell her. Now, other things are turning upside down, the objects he holds and the words he says, his memories when they turn into dust.

.

Laena feels something is wrong. One night, she sneaks into their room and climbs on the bed before lying down between them.

He cannot sleep a wink. _Don't forget_ , he commands himself. _Don't forget. Never forget_.

Daenerys and Laena are so tranquil when they're sleeping. He loves them too much to forget them. He closes his eyes and starts dreaming of the beach in Pentos and the starry sky. Maybe they should take Laena there, with Drogon they would get there quickly.

On the morning, when he looks at his daughter, he wonders where she got that scar on her arm.

.

Daenerys tells Sansa and Tyrion. He warns them that he doesn't want their pity – he doesn't need it. He hasn't forgotten everything, and he won't. The maester is wrong.

One year, two years, three years. He thinks he's defeated the memory thief. He forgets and he gets lost, the words turn upside down but he remembers what really matters. The rest can turn into nothingness, he doesn't care.

Four years, five years. He gets mad at Laena, he even gets mad at Daenerys. He bumps into things and he falls, he forgets where Dragonstone and Winterfell are, he forgets the existence of Casterly Rock and Storm's End.

The memory thief won't give up.

A friend of Daenerys has moved to the Red Keep with her husband and her two children. She visits him and he answers her questions politely.

"Your friend has beautiful hair," he says to Daenerys, remembering the red curls.

.

Six years. Daenerys doesn't smile any more, her smile turned into dust, just like his memories.

"Oh, Jorah," she weeps every night.

He hasn't forgotten her, he hasn't forgotten that he loves her – the memory thief won't take that from him.

"I love you so much," she repeats, kissing him.

He strokes her hair, feeling emotional.

"What will I do without you?" he hears her whispering.

"I'm not going anywhere."

He tries to prove that he's still here, that he will always be. He stands beside her when she sits on the Iron Throne, he attends the small council meetings, during which he watches in a pensive mood Daenerys's friends, the red-haired woman and the little man.

He dares not ask who the maid with a scar on her arm is.

.

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand.

.

Seven years.

He's old, now. He feels guilty to be such a burden for Daenerys.

"You should find another king," he sighs as she leads him back to their room – he got lost again.

"I don't want another king, I never have. I want you."

He closes his eyes and nods painfully.

He almost wishes the memory thief would take everything faster so he could finally forget his shame.

.

One night, as he walks toward his bed, he bumps into Daenerys's dressing table. A jar filled with sand shatters on the ground.

He wonders why they keep such an object in their room when Daenerys appears. She bursts into tears and falls to her knees on the ground when she understands what happened. She makes an attempt to collect the sand. He kneels and tries to help her, even though he doesn't understand.

"I could find you some sand on the harbor," he says.

Her tears keep falling.

.

The silver hair, the purple eyes.

.

The memory thief will not win. It won't take Daenerys from him.

.

He wishes Daenerys would stay with him all the time. He likes looking at her, he feels happy when she's here.

"I can't," she tells him, wiping some tears away. "I'm the Queen. I have to take care of the realm."

He didn't know she was a queen – it must be why she always looks sad and tired. Fortunately, the maid who has a scar on her arm keeps him company and reads him stories about dragons and heroes. He likes listening to her. Sometimes, the red-haired woman and the little man come as well.

He wonders why they always look like they're about to cry when they look at him.

.

Eight years.

He can't move about on his own, now. He stares at the ceilling and dreams of dragons. He's never seen one – they might only exist in legends.

The lady with silver hair and purple eyes may know the answer. He asks her.

"Dragons are real," she whispers. "They fly through the sky and touch the stars."

"I'd like to see a dragon."

Tears roll down her cheeks. He doesn't like seeing her cry – she's so kind to him.

.

The world is bleak, now. He tries to speak but the words no longer come. The lady with silver hair, the maid who has a scar, the red-haired woman and the little man are gathered around his bed.

"It will be over soon, Jorah," the silver-haired lady says.

She gives him a gentle kiss.

"The stardust will return," she promises.

She lies down beside him. She's weeping and he starts crying too without really understanding why.

The world is bleak, and one day, the world turns black.

.

She was right. The stardust has returned.

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena, the lemons.


	2. Daenerys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your wonderful comments! I said I would write Daenerys's point of view, so here it is. I hope you will like it!

Stars are shining in the sky the night Jorah asks for her hand.

When he kneels, her heart starts beating faster. He tells her he has no title, no money, no alliance to give her, only his eternal love. She cries out of joy. Jorah has been by her side for so many years now. His love is worth all the crowns in the world.

She says yes, of course.

.

He's by her side on her coronation day. She comes down from the sky mounting Drogon and lands in the Red Keep's courtyard.

It was her dream and it finally comes true. When she enters the Throne Room, he's waiting for her and kisses her hand.

"My queen," he whispers, bowing.

"My king," she whispers back.

When she sits on the Iron Throne, he stands to her left. She closes her eyes and smiles.

"Daenerys Targaryen and Jorah Mormont! Queen and King of the Andals and the First Men!"

Even her dream was never so perfect.

.

It feels odd, seeing Pentos again after all these years. She remembers perfectly the moment she saw him for the first time, even after all this time. She was only a frightened child but he appeared before her and gave her a kind smile. Her savior.

His smile hasn't changed but she's afraid that all of this may just be an illusion, something made up by her mind.

"It's real," she admits when Jorah gives her the jar filled with sand. She can touch it – it's real, nothing is more real.

"I shall keep it forever," she promises as she's staring at it.

.

She is happy.

Of course she is – how could she not be? She has all she has ever dreamt of, all she has ever needed.

Everything but one thing.

One day, they go to Winterfell to visit Sansa and Tyrion and she cannot look away from their children. Catelyn and Theon's laugh feels like a dagger through her heart. When the night comes, she gazes at her desperately flat belly and sobs.

She wipes her tears away but Jorah notices, of course. He always notices everything. When he says that she's unhappy, she shakes her head.

"Jorah," she laughs. "I can never be unhappy as long as you're here."

.

She still can't belive it.

The baby that Jorah brought along with him fell asleep in her arms. She feels like she's dreaming. She closes her eyes and she catches a glimpse of a whole life ahead of her. She pictures her first smile, her first words, her first flight on Drogon's back.

Two arms wrap around her from behind. Jorah puts his head on her shoulder.

"Are you happy now?"

The little girl opens her eyes. She brushes her cheek with her fingers.

"I was happy," she reminds him. "But I'm happier now."

When he kisses her, it tastes like stars.

.

Laena is six years old when they tell her they are not her real parents. She listens to them silently. When it's done, Jorah gives her the jar filled with sand and says:

"You know we love you very much, Laena, don't you?"

She looks at the sand and nods.

"We're like grains of sand, the three of us. We're unseparable."

"Not like sand."

Laena smiles at them.

"Like stardust."

They smile back at her.

.

She feels so guilty the day Laena burns herself.

"It wasn't your fault," Jorah keeps telling her.

"I'm a bad mother," she says, ignoring his words.

He takes her hands and squeezes them.

"Never say such a thing again. Laena could never have had a better mother than you, do you hear me?"

She wants to cry. Jorah is so sweet, so kind to her. She lets him embrace her.

"I don't know if Laena could have had a better mother," she whispers. "But I could never have had a better king."

.

She likes visiting Sansa and Tyrion and watching Laena play with Theon and Catelyn. After their games, they ask them for lemon cakes. Daenerys had never understood why Sansa loved them so much until she made her taste one – now, she cannot do without them. The Wardeness of the North is a true friend to her. When Sansa comes to King's Landing, they like sitting under a lemon tree to speak.

"What is it?" Sansa asks her one day as she's smiling with no particular reason.

She picks a lemon.

"I'm happy. I'm happy to be your friend."

Sansa smiles back at her. They're so alike – two survivors.

"Not as much as I am."

Jorah and Tyrion are speaking nearby. Sansa frowns.

"Sometimes, I'm afraid that all of this is just a dream..."

She thinks of the jar filled with sand and gives her a reassuring smile.

"Everything will be all right."

.

One day, she finds Jorah sitting under the lemon tree, his eyes closed. She has noticed that he spends a lot of time here.

"I thought you didn't like lemons."

She falls in love with him again when he responds:

"I don't, but I love you."

.

"Can I have the jar filled with stardust?" Laena asks them one night, eyes shining. "Just for tonight."

It's not the first time she has asked them for it. As always, Jorah smiles and nods.

"Of course."

When it's time for her to go to bed, he lays it on her bedside table himself.

"I'll dream of stars, this night," Laena laughs, delighted.

On the next day, Jorah comes to her and sheds some tears when he tells her that the jar is gone.

"It's not. It's in Laena's room. She asked us for it yesterday, don't you remember?"

"I... I..."

He's relieved, but she is not. She implies that he works too much but he says he's fine.

Later, she finds him pressing the jar against his chest.

.

"Father is very tired," Laena tells her.

She looks up and frowns.

"Is he?"

"Yes he is. He forgets which story he read me the day before."

She drops the book she's holding.

"How many times did it happen?"

"At least five times in two weeks!"

She doesn't pick up the book. Her hands are shaking – she would just drop it again.

"You give him too much work to do, Mother," Laena laughs.

She storms out of the room, leaving her alone with her dark thoughts.

.

On Laena's nameday, she hopes she'll be able to forget how worried she is for the day. She watches Jorah eating a lemon cake before Laena's joyful eyes.

"You don't have to," she tells him. "I know you hate lemons."

Jorah turns to her and smiles tenderly.

"Look at her."

Laena runs around the room. It is impossible not to feel her joy.

"It is worth eating a small cake."

.

One night, Jorah doesn't come to their room. She goes looking for him and finds him in his former room, looking so bewildered.

"I don't understand. Why is it empty?"

It's not the cold that makes her shiver.

"You haven't used it for years. We've shared the same room since our wedding day."

He blinks, and then the bewildered look disappears.

"Oh. Of course."

She takes his hand and they leave the room in silence.

She has never held it so tight.

.

She finally tells him how worried she is. He goes on saying he's all right.

"I'm just tired. I'm getting old."

"You're not old."

She no longer minds his age. It never mattered to her, never.

"I am," he sighs.

It hurts, hearing him say it.

"But it doesn't change anything. I won't forget that I love you."

 _Oh, Jorah_ , she thinks. _I will never forget either._

.

One morning, she finds a scroll and recognizes his handwritting. He only wrote a few words but reading them feels like being stabbed through the heart.

_The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena, the lemons._

_._

They go to Winterfell for a few days. She smiles while Jorah is here but as soon as he walks away, she bursts into tears in Sansa's arms.

"He forgets. He forgets so many things."

She can't stop crying.

"What if he forgets me too?"

Saying it out loud breaks her heart once more.

"I'm scared..." she sobs.

"It will be all right," Sansa says. "It will get better, it always does."

She wishes it were true.

.

She has kept the scroll.

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena, the lemons.

.

She keeps glancing at him. He has barely changed since the day they met, he still looks so strong. Oh, it's impossible to guess that something is breaking in his mind. He refuses to see a maester and goes on saying he's fine as they sit under the lemon tree.

_Oh, my poor Jorah. Who are you lying to? Me, or yourself?_

She says she doesn't want to lose him. Her crown doesn't matter without him – she would give all the crowns in the world to get his memories back.

As they are watching the stars in the sky, she whispers:

"Memories are like stardust. They shine, some more than others, but in the end, they all disappear."

.

Sansa and Tyrion come to the Red Keep for the anniversary of her coronation day. She thinks there is nothing to celebrate, not any more. She lets Sansa embrace her with a heavy heart.

"How is he?"

She finds herself at a loss for any reply.

"I don't know," she whispers back. "He says he's fine, but I know that he lies to me..."

Later, Laena comes to her, looking sad.

"Father didn't want to eat the cake I gave him."

"What?"

"He said he didn't like lemons, but I don't understand, he used to eat lemon cakes..."

She wipes Laena's tears away in silence, and then wipes her own tears away when she is finally alone.

.

She takes the scroll and crosses out the last word.

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena.

.

When he gets lost in the Red Keep and has no idea where he is, she makes him see a maester. He only says what she already knows.

A memory thief, he tells them.

For the first time, she bursts into tears in front of Jorah.

"So... I'm going to forget everything?"

The maester nods. He refuses to believe him and leaves the room.

"He's lying. I could never forget you. Never."

He seems so determined and she wishes she could believe him, she really does, and it hurts. She can't stop thinking about the words on the scroll – other memories to forget.

.

"I can't be your king any more."

She closes her eyes and feels like taking off her crown and throwing it away. How can she be a queen if she doesn't have her king?

"Don't be ridiculous. You are my king, now and always."

He is the king she chose. She will never want another one.

"One day, I might forget what a king is."

She thinks this word isn't written on the scroll. She won't have to cross it out – an odd and comforting thought alike.

"I will be there to make you remember. I won't forget you. I turned you heart upside down, remember? And you turned mine as well."

.

His memories are turning upside down, along with her heart, over and over again. How it aches.

.

Laena asks more and more questions.

"Why doesn't Father remember the day I burned myself?"

She glances at the scar on her daughter's arm. She doesn't know what to answer. The lies don't come up so easily any more.

"It was a very long time ago, Laena," she sighs.

The little girl shrugs.

"I'll have to tell him, then."

She's still so young – oh, if she knew, her little heart would break at once.

.

"Jorah... Jorah is ill," she admits to Sansa and Tyrion.

Their eyes meet. They already know, of course they do. How could they not?

"The maester is wrong. I can't forget everything, I just can't."

They nod silently.

 _Jorah_ , she thinks sadly. _You can't win against the memory thief. She's the winner._

It all feels like a dream. Every morning, she wakes up and wonders if she'll have to take the scroll and cross out another word.

.

One year, two years, three years.

"The memory thief will not win," he repeats.

She nods, kisses him, and leads him back to the Throne Room.

.

Four years, five years.

He fell and can't stand up.

"I don't need help!" he shouts at Laena who has run over to him.

Shocked, she steps back.

"Daenerys," he mutters. "Daenerys."

She kneels beside him. He clings to her and weeps.

Another day, he can't finish his sentence. The words are turning upside down in his mouth.

"You really don't understand a thing," he snaps.

She sobs for hours after that. It's the first time he has been mean to her – how it hurts.

He apologizes for hours.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

She nods. What else can she do?

How she'd like to burn the memory thief.

.

She's relieved the day Sansa, Tyrion and their children come to live with her. She feels so lonely.

"I'm here, now," Sansa says to her, squeezing her hand.

There are ghosts in the Red Keep. One night, she sees them in her dreams. They are Jorah's lost memories. They wave goodbye to her before fading away.

She wakes up short of breath.

Later in the day, he tells her that her friend has beautiful hair.

.

Sansa's name isn't on the scroll. There is nothing to cross out.

.

Six years.

It's odd, really. All these years she has taken these things for granted – Jorah's smile, his gentle eyes, his loving embraces.

It all fades away, it all turns into dust, just like his memories. She should have known how precious these things were.

So precious, so ephemeral. What a fool she is.

"Oh, Jorah," she weeps every night. "I love you so much."

He tells her that he's not going anywhere, that he will always be here. She nods and kisses him.

She doesn't glance at the memory thief lurking in the room.

.

She drops her jaw along with her heart and perhaps her entire soul the day Jorah asks Laena her name.

Stardust. How life is transient.

At night, she goes out into the gardens and screams her pain away.

.

She finally takes the scroll.

The silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand.

.

Seven years.

She hates the Red Keep. It seems so empty, now. The ghosts lurk in the halls and sneer at her.

"You should find another king," Jorah tells her.

She thinks it is something the memory thief will never be able to take away – his heart. Even now, on the edge of oblivion, he doesn't think about himself for one second.

"I don't want another king, I never have. I want you."

A tear rolls down her cheek.

She wishes the memory thief would take everything faster so her heart could finally stop breaking.

.

One day, she walks into their room and finds Jorah staring at a pile of sand and pieces of glass on the ground.

Her heart turns upside down once more. She sinks to her knees and tries to collect it. He helps her, as lost as he always is. _What is it?_ he seems to ask.

_It's our love, Jorah. The proof it's real._

"I could find you some sand on the harbor," he says.

She doesn't want some sand. She wants the stardust.

It's gone too, now.

.

She cries when she realizes there are only two things left.

The silver hair, the purple eyes.

.

_Don't forget me. Don't forget me._

.

It feels like the golden age of her reign is over. She no longer mounts Drogon, she no longer smiles at children in the streets. She can no longer smile at Jorah.

Laena reads him stories every day. Actually, it's the same story – he never remembers it for a long time. Sansa and Tyrion come with her sometimes, but she's the one he really wants to see.

She can barely stand to look at him. He's a constant reminder of her helplessness, of these sweet years lost forever. She keeps taking care of him, of course. If it was her, he would never leave her side. She strokes his hair and wonders if she ever was worthy of his love.

.

Eight years.

Every day, she walks into the room and sits on the bed. What is left of her heart breaks the day he asks her if he has ever seen her somewhere.

Oddly, she feels relieved.

_It's over. It's over._

The never-ending waiting has come to an end.

"We've known each other for a very long time," she answers.

The memory thief has won.

She has never hated something that much.

.

When she takes the scroll, she cannot find the strength to cross out the last words.

It's the rivers of tears she sheds that wash the ink away.

.

She's lying beside him when the time comes. Laena, Sansa and Tyrion are gathered around the bed.

"The stardust will return," she promises.

She kisses him one last time. Their kiss tastes like tears.

Jorah's heart stops and she thinks that hers died with him.

"No one has ever loved me like you have. I will love you forever."

She looks at the stars starting to shine and smiles, feeling melancholic.

.

There is a new jar on her dressing table. New stardust – his body, his heart, his soul. A treasure she will keep forever.

In memory of the silver hair, the purple eyes, the jar filled with sand, Laena and the lemons.


End file.
